Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Well, the rest of July hasn't been as exciting as the Fourth. I am, however, anxiously awaiting the arrival of August. First, we go to Lake Powell the 2nd to the 9th and then my daughter's birthday is the 21st. I get so excited for her birthday and I am not really sure why. Could it be because I get to go shopping for my little princess, or because I get to plan a party (like last year's elaborate princess bash)? Well, actually it is. That is why her b-day gets me all excited but then I think, "Oh no, she's another year older." It doesn't sadden me but gets me thinking how fast it all goes. She will be four next month, next year she starts kindergarten. That is crazy.

I know I talk about Abbi all the time but she is my princess. With my luck, and John's genetics, she might very well be the only one I get. Despite my love of little girl things, I love my boys so much. I love all my kids so much. They teach me everyday. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending them to me. I know that he would not send such precious cargo to me unless he had a plan and resources here to help me teach them. I am so grateful for my husband. He is a good man and a great father and husband. John is a kind, honest, generous person and I am so very glad he has always been worthy of the priesthood he has been trusted with. Sometimes, through out our marriage, he has tried to take on too much, to be there for and help everyone, and it has been a struggle for him, our marriage and our family. I am thankful that he has grown to put his family, our family, first.

I feel very blessed to have the family I have. I am grateful John and I both agree to live our lives and raise our children according to the Father's will. We are working hard to build good foundations for our children through what we teach and our example. I know I am trying so hard to do what is right but I worry so much. I worry about my daughter's self-esteem and image, I worry that my sons know the importance of the priesthood they will one day hold and that it is God's will to marry and respect and fulfill their own family. I know some of these things are far off, but I also know that what and how I teach them now will affect their future.

"Future"--that's a funny word. The future is so bright and my children's "future' seems so far away. But with how quickly four years has passed, it may not be so far after all.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Well, we had plans to stay here for the Fourth but Aaron and Jessica had their baby (yeah!!) on the 2nd. Therefore, the plans we had to go boating with my parents were shot because they were going to leave for UT on the 3rd. So John and I, after much discussion, decided to head to KS. After all, we won't be seeing John's family again until Christmas, unless plans change. Anyway, we spent the Fourth of July weekend in KS. It was a good time. The nice thing about the Fourth in KS is that you can do your own fireworks right in your back yard, which we did. The years we lived in KS for this holiday, John spent a lot of $ on fireworks. With the trip out there and all, $20 was our limit on some small one for the kids. But the day was saved when three of the younger siblings covered the show. Now, you have to understand that this family can't just do a few cool ones or a couple little ones--NO, it has to be a show. I mean the neighbors set up chairs in the street to watch the show we put on. We're talking seven people lighting fireworks consistently for over an hour. It's a production.

So Kathi (my mother in law) invites a ton of people over for a BBQ. Right before people start showing up the boys leave to go buy the goods. You see, the longer you wait, the more they will discount the stuff they want to get rid of. A couple of truckloads later the BBQ is well under way. The weather was really agreeable and the food was great. Kathi added up 100 people at the house for the occasion. We eat and talk and the kids play (we also had a huge Blues Clues bouncer) and they do the small fireworks that entertain them in the daylight. Then the planning starts. You can see my brothers-in-law, John and the other helpers at the back of Kathi's massive yard setting up and talking about timing. Then the sun goes down and the firecrackers start. They think it's great to get the giant roll of black cats to have going for sound effects, I guess, while the fireworks are going off. So the noise starts, as if huge explosions in the sky weren't enough, and then the show starts. It was a wonderful show, I will admit. My kids loved it. Well, Ike slept through it all, but Jake and Abbi thought it was great.

After the show, we had some sparklers and roman candles for the kids. I was helping Abbi with a roman candle (those are the ones that you hold the tube in your hand on one end and the spark or firework shoots out the other) and I had it faced the wrong way-toward her, not away. It went off and hit her right in the chest. She starts screaming and I rip off her shirt and take her inside to get some cold water and ice on it. Now, as I am typing this I am thinking, "Clara, why are you telling the world that you shot your daughter with a firework? It might be something that will win you the elusive Worst Mother Award but not something you should announce to people."

Well, I am telling you, not because I necessarily want the world to know my momentary carelessness, but what happened afterward. Like I said I took her shirt off and brought her inside. I am actually very calm in these situations (if you know my brother you would understand I have a lot of experience with them), so I have her on the counter in the kitchen tending to her wound and her screaming. My brother in law got me some ice and my sister in law was telling me what I should and shouldn't do, mentioning the hospital and all kinds of unnecessary stuff. I have ice on her stomach and through her sobs she asks me, "Mommy, can we do another firework? And this time can we point it this way." I can not help but laugh. She hadn't even recovered from her injury, much less stopped crying, before she wants to do it again. And she had to throw in that she thought pointing it away from her body would be a good idea.

What a tough little girl!! John took her outside to do some more roman candles (Mommy is no longer allowed to assist with the fireworks for obvious reasons). She thought that they were great. We found out the next day that her wound turned out to be no real wound at all, just a little red dot on her chest.

In a nutshell, we had a great BBQ and a huge spectacular show with no injuries. Until I entered the picture. We now know that if you are to get hit with a firework, make sure that it is a roman candle. All in all, it was a good trip. Allen and Megan had their open house the following night and that was a lot of fun as well. We drove back on Monday. And given all the debate we had whether or not to go in the first place, we are glad that we did.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


My brother and his wife are expecting their first child--any day now. In fact, she was due on the 25th of June. Unfortunately for her, she is still pregnant. I would be dying if I was over my due date. With Abigail the doc scheduled me to be induced the day after my due date (I came a few days early so I didn't need it). I think with Jess, my sister in law, they used the cream to try to induce labor and her and Aaron have been going on long walks, but nothing has worked. I think that her doc is actually on vaca this week so her next appointment isn't til next week anyway. I would just like to say I am sorry Jess and I hope that your little girl decides to make her debut earlier rather than later and I hope that your patience hangs in there.

My grandma has been in town visiting and it's been really great to see her. As she has been here at home with the kids and I all during the day, I am a little self consious about my parenting. You know, I want my grandma to be proud of me not thinking, "OH my gosh, what the heck is going on here." Amidst this self scrutiny, I have noticed that my patience has, in fact, decreased with each child I have had. Like the more children the less patience. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I am so incredibly grateful for each of my children and I hope that they know I love them despite how stressed or upset I act sometimes.