Monday, January 10, 2011

The last two weeks at our house

The last two weeks have been very strange. So, it's out there...I am pregnant and I am so miserable. I know this is normal goings on in early pregnancy, but this time around it has been worse...much worse. It all started the day that our company left. I am so grateful for that. It would have been terrible for them to come visit a cranky vegetable. I sit on my couch all day with a migraine that nothing I can take will make go away, and nausea that never lets up. 'Morning' sickness would be a welcome event at this point. I have done practically nothing for the past two weeks. I just can't handle it! There is so much to do and I am just so sick and lightheaded and tired all the time to do any of it. I go to bed every night thinking and praying that the next day will be better. That no matter how awful I feel I will mop the floors, play games with and read stories to the kids, make a decent meal, take the kids somewhere fun, do preschool with J, or fold the laundry that's been sitting in the living room. Then it takes all my effort to get out of bed the next morning, get A ready and to school,  and maybe get lunch and dinner made for the kids. MY HOUSE IS A DISASTER and my kids have watched WAY too much TV. A even had a snow day today. John got up with all of them and I actually got to go back to sleep. Later, I managed to gather all the gear up for them to head out into the winter wonderland, got them ready and resumed my position on the couch. Then they came in begging for me to come out with them....ah man! I tried, I really tried. After, very slowly, putting on all my gear, all I could do was just stand there in the snow. They kept asking to play games or a snowball fight...nope, all I could do was stand there.

 I have a really hard time having such a mess in the house and 'ignoring' the kids and not feeling up to doing anything about it. It actually makes me feel upset at myself and....guilty. Mommy DOESN'T get sick. Maybe a runny nose, a cough... you know, mild stuff....but not SICK. I am having an internal struggle with myself. "I am the Mom, I can't just lay around and be sick" and "I am not feeling well, this never happens" and "I am just preggo and this will (hopefully) only last another month" and " there is no way this family is going to make it like this for another month" or "I don't care if you don't feel well, do something with the kids, no more movies for them, you're going to damage their brains" and "oh my gosh, my head is going to explode" and "I really just wish I would throw up already, at least that would be some relief, however brief".

I am not trying to complain. In fact, I am so happy to be pregnant, I am just a little shocked that it has been the worst pregnancy so far. I know that some women have it so much worse and I know that I am blessed. Anyway, I know that it is what it is.  I would really like to, on the record, apologize to my husband and children. I am sorry for the mess in the house and the obscene amounts of television. I hoping it will not produce life-long scars. I would like to thank John endlessly for making some of the meals and doing most of the dishes for the past week (The most housework he's done in the last 8 years!!)  and just being patient with such an incredibly cranky and miserable wife every day. Please, try to understand I am not making your life miserable on purpose...I love you all and this is only temporary, I promise.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I know, I know, I just posted yesterday. What kind of crazy shenanigans are going on around here. Well, I will tell you. Tonight was one of those nights. If you are a parent, you know what I mean. I have posted about how my life is crazy (not me) before and tonight was one of those nights.

It started out promising. A was in a good mood when she came home from school (she usually is) and the kids, all of them, played in the backyard while I laid on the couch. Blissful. Then they came in and played nicely in the toy room. Wonderful. Then it was time to make dinner...queue craziness. E for some reason breaks down at dinner time. I start to make dinner and he, all of a sudden, cannot live with out me. He cries, claws at my legs, follows me around and trips me. The. Entire. Time. Tonight was no exception. Luckily, we were having tacos...pretty easy. So it was about time to eat and E followed the other kids into the dining room and thought he could sit at the table like a big boy and even attempt to pour himself some juice apparently. There goes the entire gallon of juice all over the table. Fun times.

After dinner, I decides that he is going to shove three large baby carrots in his mouth at once and nearly joke a few times in the process. I finally make him SIT and finish what's in his mouth. This is all while he is crying about a toy that won't stay put together. Then the kids all wanted the tattoos they got for Christmas on. I know I doesn't really like them but he persists. Then has huge hysterics when the temporary tattoo is already in place. "It hurts" and "I dont' want it" and crying and screaming. My explaining to him that it will wash off in a couple of days and if I scrub it off now it will hurt (I don't have any rubbing alcohol or nail polish remover right now). So A, being the helpful big sis she is, takes him to the bathroom and starts trying to scrub it off for him. That didn't go over well either.

The little boys went to bed (we have taken I's binky away and bedtime wasn't pretty tonight for him...or me) and all I had to do was get the older two to brush their teeth and get jammies on. It would have been great if it hadn't have taken them 20 min to 'brush' their teeth, or when A knocked the crystal doorknob off into the toilet. J has a problem. He can remember EVERYTHING, except to flush the toilet. That crystal doorknob and, subsequently, my hand was met by an extremely unpleasant surprise in that toilet. While J can't remember to flush, he does remember to wipe and he was VERY thorough this time. I extricated the doorknob and flushed the toilet. Not good. The entire roll of toilet paper he used to get the job done, did not want to go down. The toilet over flows all over the bathroom with disgusting water from the toilet and the plunger is downstairs. I make a mad dash for the basement to get it and find that all of that mess was dumping into the basement now. In the cat's food no less. Along with the washer and dryer and the floor and everything else in the vicinity. Oh. My. Gosh.

All this was going on, and A is just getting upset left and right asking, "Mommy, why are you so upset at us?" Well...well...Mommy was just not a happy camper this evening. I am really not sure how to explain to a 6 year old that I have just had my limit for the day and  I am not upset at them, I am just done, ya know. I tried, I hope she understood, I had a nice cuddle session with each of them as I tucked them in and here I am.

Tonight was crazy. It was one of those nights that I REALLY wish my husband were home. It was one of those nights that I was asking myself  "Am I really ready to do this all over again?" That's right people...we are expecting....again. It has taken us a while and some medical help, but we are expecting. I am not far along at all and I normally don't 'announce' it to the world this early. A friend mentioned that it is kind of nice for people to know why I am miserable and cranky and tired all the time....and I am. That is why I was so happy when the kids entertained each other so beautifully for a couple of hours this afternoon...I got to lay on the couch. I know they are just kids and none of what went on this evening was any one's fault and that I am so much more irritable right now. I LOVE my children so entirely. I am so grateful to have so many little ones in my home and in my care. I love that they have each other to play with and that they all just adore each other (most of the time). I know that I will laugh about tonight at some point, but for  now I am grateful they are in bed this evening and that my hubs is finally home.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It's All Over

Well, the holidays are over. We had such an amazing time. My parents, my grandmother and my two sisters and their families came to visit us for a while. It was so much fun!! They all rolled into town early morning on the 23rd and we made preparations for the big day. Christmas Eve was crazy trying to get things ready for the next day, we always make gleise (a german soup), we had a gingerbread house competition, and the kids get to open their one gift.

Every 'family' had their own house to do and great grandma was the judge. This was's not actually finished in this picture. It really doesn't matter, it wasn't really that pretty. Of course, Mom and Dad (mostly dad) had all these huge plans (they ended up with Shrek's swamp), Jess and Travis made the Rexburge temple, Manda and Terron did the house kit and it turned out really cute. John and I decided to just let the kids do whatever they wanted to do to could totally tell. We lost the competition to the Temple, but the kids had a blast and everyone is already planning for next year.
Don't they look adorable in their new jammies?! They were all so ornery. Trying to get them to even sit next to each other and look at the camera....not fun. They LOVED having everyone in town, but their schedule and bedtime and normal routine went out the window. They were pretty excited for the visit from SANTA but they went to bed pretty easily.

This was the scene when they came down (at 5:30am...thanks Jess!!!)

They are four of the most spoiled kids on the planet!! The kids came in at ...ahem...5:30am. And then by the urging of the seven other adults in the house already situated around the tree downstairs, the kids kept coming up to bug us. I think we finally came down at 6:30...I don't really remember. We read the Christmas story out of Luke in the Bible and then the older kids got to pass out the loot.

The rest of their visit was filled with shopping, watching some TV, playing cards, eating and working on my house. My wonderful parents bought and installed a new ceiling fan in my kitchen with other lighting, a knob in my van and purchased a new bookshelf for my living room and helped me re-situate my house. It was such a wonderful visit from all of them. I miss my family dearly and I wish my children had the opportunity to see them more often. I am so grateful that they all travelled so far (my 90 year old grandma lives in Washington State) to visit us. It meant so much!! Thank you for visiting and for all that you do for us! We love you and we miss you already.