Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I am thinking PINK

As mentioned before, we had the ultrasound today. Actually we almost didn't. For my own journal-ing purposes here's the story...

I had sooo been looking forward to my appointment today or dreading it-depending on how you look at it. The ultrasound was scheduled for 10am and then my appointment with the doc directly after. John and I showed up about 10 minutes early and checked in. The nurse called us back to a regular room shortly after. I mentioned that I was supposed to be having the u/s and she just shrugged and said, "Well, it shows here that that appointment was at 9:30 so we'll have to reschedule." I was not a happy camper. I stuttered over my words in explaining that was not what I had scheduled...she didn't say anything. Then she had the audacity to ask for my urine sample (gross, I know, but that's the way it is). I, not quite politely, informed her that I did not because I was expecting an ultrasound. This means, for those of you who don't know, that my bladder is  full in a BIG way. I am assuming that she does know this, working in an OB office and all. She didn't do anything other than shrug and mutter that it was no biggie and the doc would be in soon. Oh. My. Goodness. I do not like that nurse.

Anyway, the doc came in a few minutes later (while I am seething with unhappiness) and gave me a strange look. I explained what was going on and she said she would go talk to the tech. She did and apparently, the appointment after me was transferred to KC so she was open for the next little while. Score for us. We walk down to the u/s  room and the tech mentions to me that she may not be able to see everything because they usually do u/s at 20 or 21 weeks as opposed to 18 weeks like I am. Seriously? The tech was actually very good, I've had her before and I like when she does my u/s.

The first thing she checked was the gender and, lo and behold, it's a GIRL. She did all of the boring work like making sure the baby is healthy and has all of her parts. Then checked again for those all important girl parts. By the end of the u/s she was kicking and wiggling and trying to 'swim' away from the pressure of the sensor on my belly. She was very upset we had bothered her so long. It was so incredibly cute. Then it was back to the exam room for a quick chat with the doc and we were outta there.

I woke up this morning with the distinct feeling, for the first time, that if this baby was a boy that our family would still be complete and that I would not be disappointed with that news. At first, when she told us that it was a girl, I thought she's just got it wrong and there really are boy parts in there somewhere. The tech assured us that she would not tell us a girl just by lack of boy parts, but that she distinctly saw girl parts...the first and second time she checked.

We left there, went and got a balloon and stopped by A's school to give her the news. We snuck up behind her at recess and she had no clue what was going on. Strange, given the huge balloon, the huge pink teddy bear inside it and the "baby girl" written across it. A did catch on and the look on her face was priceless. John and I went to pick up the boys and they were just fascinated by the huge balloon. It made no difference what color the teddy bear inside was.

Well, that's the story... which probably isn't that interesting to everyone but it was a pretty roller coaster morning for me. I remember going from such anger and irritation to such overwhelming joy when she said "girl". I did get a little teary-eyed but I did not cry. We are so relieved that the baby is as healthy as they can tell at this point and I got some really great pictures of my baby girl...including a perfect shot of her foot and toes.
I am so happy that my little princess will get the sister that she has been wanting ever since I was pregnant with Ike. When she (she had just turned 3) found out Ike was a boy she asked, "So does that mean that we get rid of Jake? Can we throw him away?"

I also must admit that I am very pleased to be able to make and shop for things in pink!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I don't know...

I was thinking that I should post something, but I have no idea what...

We had a nice relaxing Spring Break...I love having A home all the time. We hung out with friends, and Daddy, we went to Manhattan for a night to see G-ma Kathi, and A got to spend a lot of time with a wonderful friend.

We seeded a big part of the front yard, and I think it may have died already. Hopefully not, but the freezing weather making another appearance can't help the poor grass.

The most exciting thing in my life right now is the upcoming ultrasound for baby number 5. I am feeling all kinds of things...I am excited, anxious, not excited, and just not wanting to have it for fear of hearing something I don't want to hear. There are a number of things a woman doesn't want to hear/see at an ultrasound. I always get a little anxious that there will be a problem with the baby but this time it's more stuff like "baby is not cooperating, I can't see the gender" or "everything looks great...you won't be getting another u/s" or "it's a boy". With every child so far they have been able to see the gender in the u/s and every subsequent one. I have already posted about our "luck" with ultrasounds. I have had the wonderful opportunity to see our babies SEVERAL times before they are born for fear of complications of some kind, but all have been born perfectly perfect.

I am just hoping that they will be able to see the gender, that I will maybe get another u/s at some point (not that I want something to be wrong with my precious unborn), and yes, I am REALLY hoping for a girl. I have two sisters myself and I would really love for my Princess to have at least one. Don't get me wrong, I adore every single one of my Frog Princes and I will be ecstatic to have another boy. We have been so blessed with four healthy children and I hope that streak continues. Not to mention the fact that I (and the princess) adore everything pink and lacey and little girl adorable. Oh and each of the kids (we'll just assume E too, although he does not express his wishes) wants a little sister. When the three oldest say prayers for meals or family prayers, they all pray that "Mommy can have a baby girl and our Aunt Jessies can have baby boys." SO CUTE!

Anyway, no matter what they can tell me, the ultrasound is this coming Tuesday. I am already losing sleep over it!!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

When you know...you know.

I have noticed that there is a certain instinct that comes with being a Mom. By no means am I an expert of any sort, but there is a little feeling that I get. Like what the infant is crying for (food, sleep, etc.), or that the silence of a toddler is not always a good sign, or when a baby has a simple cough or is really sick, or when the older child is not telling you the whole story, or when something bad has happened and they're not sure if they can/should tell you, and the list could go on. There are always certain signs too...lethargy and lack of appetite in a severely sick child, shoe polish on the wall after said silence, a lack of eye contact when "finished" with the aforementioned kind of story, or the look in their eyes of embarrassment and hurt and sadness.

I also experience this feeling when things just simply aren't as they should be. You know, like something is off, wrong, not as I left it. For example...

Exhibit A
When I come up the stairs to go to bed and see my door in this position, I get that feeling. That feeling that I will walk to the bedroom at the end of the hall and see this...

Exhibit B
The empty toddler bed that a certain three year old was tucked in to a matter of hours ago. And that feeling intensifies. I know that I will go back to that closed door, open it and find...

Exhibit C
That cute little boy snoozing in my bed!!


This is just a silly example that happens with my third-born fairly often but I have had some very real and very difficult experiences with this 'Motherly instinct'. I am sure to have countless more given that my children are young, but the one thing I have learned is to LISTEN to that instinct...it's almost ALWAYS right.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Cut

I have had requests to post pictures of my hair cut....
So this is it. For the first time ever, I didn't really want to cut it. But it needed to be done. I think that may be why I am not so keen on it. Oh, and the stylist was TERRIBLE. Anyway, I will let it grow some and maybe find someone good to cut it right. In the mean time, it's hair and it works without looking too terrible.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ugh

Life is pretty boring around here. I am slowly feeling better every day and all the kids are healthy at the moment. We went to the circus the other day and I totally forgot my camera. We had gotten the tickets for free but softie Dad paid for the kids to do everything there was to do once we were in the doors. Elephant rides, light up swords and all the overpriced food they could eat. The kids did great and we all had a blast.

I did, in fact, cut my hair short. I didn't really want to but the mop definitely needed a new start. I don't have pictures because I am not really digging it. The lady was not good (I really need to find a stylist I like and trust) and could not even understand what I wanted, much less accomplish it. After three redoes with her, I was done.

Exciting life, I know.