so soon

Christmas is just days away. I am so grateful for my Father in Heaven and my Savior. I love this time of year to celebrate the miraculous birth of Christ and the opportunity to concentrate on family.

I am so blessed in that department. This year has been very challenging and it has brought one thing to my attention... I have a wonderful family. It's not that I didn't realize this before, I really just have a newfound gratitude and admiration for all of those loved ones in our life. My husband is wonderful, of course, and I love my children to death always, but our extended families have done so much for us in our times of need and I don't know that I can ever fully express the impact that has had on me. My dream is to, one day, be as kind, generous, loving, selfless and Christ-like as these precious ones in our lives.

I hope all of you wonderful people in our lives have a Merry Christmas. I hope you make great memories with your families and remember the true reason for the season. I will be missing my parents and siblings this holiday very much. Have fun in Idaho!!

Crazy?

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly. President Thomas S. Monson

I stole this quote (well, technically from President Monson) from my Relief Society President's blog--thanks Amy! I love it. Just love it. I was at church the other day and some one asked

"You have four kids?"

"Yeah" 

"How old is your oldest?"

"Five."

"Really? Wow."  (accompanied by a look questioning my sanity)

I proceeded to have a similar conversation after church with someone. I seem to have that conversation a lot. Is it really that hard to believe? That someone....that I, would have decided to have four children in five years?  I suppose it could be a possibility that John and I are not educated in the many different methods of birth control, this is not the case. We planned and expected each pregnancy, in fact, there would have been less of a gap between a couple of the kids if we had had things our way. No, I don't like being pregnant. No, I am not particularly silly about babies. No, I am not crazy.

Yes, my life is crazy. There is more cleaning, laundry, sticky messes, ouchies, whining, crying, kisses, band-aids, playdates, Happy Meals, toys, yelling, hugs, cartoons, mac and cheese, diapers, bottles, noise, carseats, wipes, fighting and frustration than is probably healthy... but I am not crazy. Our house is usually clean, the kids (and myself) are bathed, they have good manners considering their ages, we aren't late too often, I even get time to myself occassionally.

 

It's so amazing. I love that they have each other to learn from and to grow with. I am so proud that Abbi loves reading to her little brothers, and Isaac is so sweet to everyone (most of the time), and Jake is more boy than any boy I have ever encountered, and Ethan is just so entertained and adored by all of the older kids. I am proud that they are well behaved, happy children. I am so grateful to have them in my life and I will never fully be able to express that. So yeah...Wow. Really.

28...Ugh!

So yesterday was my birthday. UGH! Not that I didn't have a good birthday, as far as birthdays go. I got some awesome gifts and my hubby took me on a great date. There was a blizzard. It doesn't get much better, really. What is really upsetting to me is that I am closer to 30. Why does 28 seem so much closer to that dreaded number? I mean, I was 27 less than 48 hours ago, but 28 just seems leaps and bounds closer to the big three-oh. I don't get it. I really never thought that I would care-I do.

I really think it's just hard to wrap my brain around. 30 is middle age ( I do still have two precious years)  and I am not middle age. I am a kid. I am a teenager, a college student, a young adult, a young wife, a new mother....where has the time gone? I just feel like my life is passing before my eyes and I am on the sidelineswaiting for it to get started. I need to get in the game-I am just not sure how, I guess. I need to work on that one.

Thanks to all my loved ones for making my big day a happy one...numbers aside!

Magic...

I have to tell you all how much I love this time of year. I love the music, the weather, the good feelings, remembering the birth of our Savior, and I love being SANTA to my children. (Being SANTA to myself isn't so bad either) I remember being a kid and feeling that 'magic' that surrounds this time of year. That wore off a long time ago...until I had kids to re-create it all for.

I absolutely adore shopping, so any reason to do that is a good one. I am so proud of Abbi and Jake when they show that they actually understand the reason for the season. They affectionately call Christmas "Jesus' birthday". I think it was Abbi who asked once why we get presents if it's Jesus birthday. Good question. I like that I have 99.9% of my shopping done so I don't have to stress...just sit back, relax and enjoy it with my family.

I am grateful that, although our situation is not ideal, we are together--our little family of six. I guess that's not so little. I am grateful that I have had the health and ability to have the four wonderful, healthy children that we have. I am thankful everyday that I have such an incredible husband to share this life, and the eternities, with. John is loving, hard working and fun. I love him so much. I look back on this crazy (and in some ways awful) year, and I really just can't believe it. We have endured several trials of different sorts and although I am not quite at the point to be grateful for those trials, I am grateful for the growth and strength in my family that has resulted from them.

This is going to be a wonderful holiday season, and I am so excited for it. I love my family and I am so grateful for all of my many blessings.

P.S. The pics are all from last year and earlier this year!

Jake had a birthday party. Yes, a party. . .not an actual birthday. . .yet. His big day is not until the 25th but we had some awesome family in town, so we had the party early. My wonderful parents came into town, along with my sis and her kids. I was so happy to see them. I have missed them all so much lately.

Why is it that we always seem rushed when family comes to visit? Rushed to do what? I am not sure but I always wish we had more time.

Jake wanted to go bowling for his Spiderman party. Strange, I know. We had much of our extended family there, along with Jake's friend Koy. Watching all the kids bowl is so funny. We had cake and ice cream in their party room and we were done. Given my history, a very simple party and I think the kids had a great time.

We also had Halloween way back when. We went to the ward trunk-or-treat that Thurday and went trick-or-treating around the neighborhood for a bit. I think the kids were most excited about passing out candy though when we got back.

Oh yeah, and we moved. . .again!! I am not kidding. We moved down here to Manhattan to be together as a family all the time (John has been working, and staying here most of the time, for the past two months). We have our own little space in my mother in law's basement. And believe it or not, it has been a vast improvement for our children. I am not sure how long we will be here, or where we will go after. . .I have no clue. If this past year has taught us anything, we'll just go with the flow and keep praying.

oh, so much fun

Life with a new baby was going very well, until John decided to get sick that is. You might think, "A sick husband is not a huge deal, Clara." Especially if you remember that John doesn't even live in the same house as me most of the time. The problem is that he got sick while he was in Topeka with us.

A couple weeks ago, John was home for Sunday and Monday. On Monday, we took the kids to a Pumpkin Patch place to do all the fun little activities and let them pick pumpkins. They rode the little train which they all loved, went down the big bouncy slide, and we took the hayrack ride. On the last part of the ride, the farm had staged a wreck from "the last hayrack ride" complete with plastic body parts and an oveturned trailer. Abbi and Jake were highly concerned that the place didn't call some "doctors". I let them believe the scene for a few minutes but had to explain things once Abbi wanted to ask the tractor driver to turn around so we could go help the victims of the crash. Abbi loved the hay jump that was set up but Jake insisted that Daddy caught him every time he jumped. John moved out of the way last minute once and Jake was appalled that Dad would do that to him. Maybe someday I will tell him it was my idea. Isaac just wanted to play on the teeter totter and Ethan slept the whole time--what else?

Later that day, we decided to give in to the pleading and go to the BMX track that is a few blocks from the house. I thought it would be fun to take a family bike ride. It was. Jake has a little 12" bike and no matter how fast he peddaled, he just couldn't keep up. I think someone will be getting a new bike for his birthday. On the way back we let Jake pick the trail home--bad idea. John and I switched bikes--I took the bike with the two little boys in the trailer and John took mine and rode with Jake (he's really slow remember?). That was the plan and then we started home. Jake's way home was the way home that kept getting longer. After another two miles, Abbi and I made it home. We got everything put away and I went inside and waited and waited. I look out the front window after another 45 minutes and here comes John...carrying Jake's bike....pushing Jake on his bike. I am sure that ride with Jake was as fun-filled as they get, but John was a trooper.

That Monday was one of those days that was just perfect. The kids were well behaved so excited to spend a day with Daddy, John and I kept the positive attitude we woke up with and we had so much fun. It was so wonderful. That day is, however, was the day the misery started--we just didn't know it yet. John got sick the next day. Sick husband (mine at least) are so not fun, but it gets worse...germs spread. Jake got sick, really sick. Abbi got sick, Ike got sick, I got sick and Ethan got sick. Not to mention the several members of my sister in laws family that were inflicted by the epidemic. The infirmary we call our house was then invaded by pink eye. Jake is the only one of my children that doesn't have that on top of the severe cold or flu or whatever.

My sleep intake takes a steep decline when my kids are sick. They are all coughing constantly, the older three wake up crying randomly, the oldest two have to go potty a bazillion times and for some reason have to inform me of it every time. That would pose a problem, except I am awake anyway due to the noise and stress of watching the newborn to make sure he can breathe despite the snot and mucous. So to sum it up, I have not slept, like really slept, in two weeks. And I thought I was going to have it easy with this baby because he sleeps so well. I am sure I will--when we all recover!!

Life with Ethan

Ethan was a week old yesterday!! Okay, so I know that a week is not long but it doesn't seem like a week since I had him. I am recovering okay. It is nice to know the day and basically the time that your baby is going to be born (a few perks of a C-section) but the recovery is terrible. John has been back in Manhattan since Tuesday night and I am still not supposed to pick Isaac up or the monstrous baby in his infant seat--oh well! What am I supposed to do?? Anyway, Ethan is doing very well. He is nursing every three hours or so and does really great with that. I think we have a pretty good routine at night. . .he nurses, gets changed, etc. and falls asleep by 10 or 10:30. He doesn't wake up until 3:30 or 4 then goes back to sleep until 9. I really love that he sleeps in a little. The other kids and I are up by 7 and then we proceed to eat and get everyone ready and off to school , so it's pretty convenient to get through all of that before I have to stop everything to nurse the baby. He is super cute and all the kids around here adore him. We have to be a little cautious with the little boys. Their idea of soft is not exactly everyone else's idea of soft. Isaac is so in love with babies. He insists on holding his little brother often and will sit still and quietly with Ethan on is lap for quite some time. Isaac gets very upset at Ethan's feeding times when he can't hold him. Anyway, welcome to the family Ethan! We love you!

P.S. I was going to post some pictures, but my stupid computer is not cooperating so there will be pictures to come--promise.